Written By: Jake Janus
Ah, pizza. The quintessential comfort food. A cheesy, saucy, carb-loaded slice of heaven. Or at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be. But when I ordered from Papa John’s recently, I discovered something far from heavenly—more like a disappointing trip to the underworld of fast food. I should note I am usually a fan of Papa's John, but it must have had a bad day because Papa John's missed the mark.
Let’s start with the crust, the foundation of any pizza. Ideally, it should be golden, crispy on the outside, and doughy on the inside. But Papa John’s crust was sad and rubbery and lacked flavor. It felt like biting into a piece of cardboard that had been slightly reheated after a long day sitting on a shelf. Now, I could forgive a subpar crust if the toppings were on point, however, the toppings were no improvement.
The sauce is supposed to be the soul of the pizza, blending the tanginess of tomatoes with a hint of garlic and spices. However, I received a watered-down, flavorless red paste that reminded me of canned spaghetti sauce. There was no richness, no depth—just a vague tomato presence that quickly faded into nothingness.
As for the cheese, which should be the glorious glue that holds everything together, I found myself wondering if it had even been melted properly. It sat on top in primarily congealed, unappetizing blobs, rather than stretching beautifully like any good pizza should. It also lacked that rich, gooey texture that makes you come back for bite after bite. Instead, it was like chewing on a cold, rubbery slice of mozzarella that sat in the fridge too long.
Then there were the toppings. I ordered a classic pepperoni pizza, expecting a decent smattering of spicy slices. However, I received a sad handful of flavorless pepperoni discs, scattered haphazardly across the pie. They were oily without the satisfying crispiness that good pepperoni should have, and they contributed little to the overall experience.
Also, the entire pizza was swimming in grease. I get it—pizza isn’t healthy food. But the amount of grease that pooled in the box was enough to coat my hands, the napkins, and possibly the entire table. It was as if the pizza had bathed in oil before arriving at my door. Each bite left me feeling queasy, and I needed a palate cleanser halfway through.
Now, let’s talk about price. Papa John’s isn’t exactly “cheap” pizza. For the price they’re charging, I expected at least something decent. Instead, I was left with a soggy, tasteless mess that I wouldn’t feed to my worst enemy.
Papa John’s used to be a staple in my pizza rotation, but after this disaster of an experience, I’m left questioning why I even bothered. I could’ve walked into a gas station, picked up a frozen pizza, and had a better meal for half the cost. Maybe next time, it will be better.
Thumbnail Credit:
Comentários